• Recovering Perfectionist Breakthrough Coaching

Is Self Love Selfish?

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Is Self Love Selfish?
500 750 Camy Kennedy

It’s interesting how the more I speak out about self love, having a morning and evening routine, the more triggered people are becoming. I’m getting an increase in comments and strong disagreements to what I am teaching.

In fact, it made me question myself actually….is what I am teaching THAT radical? 

Well, from my perspective, we are all in our own stories about what is true and not true. A belief is just what we repeat over and over again to ourselves until we make it feel true. 

You may have heard the saying, “Perception is reality.” So let’s work through some of these beliefs…

Like, “I don’t have time for taking care of myself.”
“I don’t have money to do nice things.” or 
“All my money/time goes to my kids/business/pets/significant other/family, so what do you mean self-care?”

I’m not yet a mom, so I hear you if you are. I know it is HARD. I also know that business owners tend to put 1000% of their daily hustle into their business.

Yet, I ask 2 questions when I’m coaching someone around their beliefs…(this comes from Byron Katie’s “the work”)

“Is that true 100% of the time?”
“What if the opposite was true?” 
“Is there possibly someone out there with a similar circumstance to me who found a way?”

The reason to ask these questions with our beliefs is to see if we can step away from them long enough to see if they are serving us or not serving us, without judgement. 

If we feel like things are going well, then there is no need to shift any beliefs. Yet, if we are challenged in some areas, we can look at our thoughts and feelings and start deconstructing them to get a different result. 

There are many reasons not to put ourselves first, especially if you are caring for someone (ie. kids). Yet, during the airplane safety instruction, they always say to put the mask on yourself before you try to help someone else…wonder why that is? Is that SELFISH? Well….you could be dead if you didn’t take that SELFISH step. 

So in a broader sense, self care and self love are a choice. Boundaries on our time are a choice. I spoke to a mom (and entrepreneur of a bath & beauty store) who said she used to tell her husband to keep the kids out of the bathroom when it was “mommy’s time” in the tub. This was her boundary that she set to keep herself sane. Yep, that is SELFISH. 

If you’re a single mom, working, unemployed, building a business or challenged in a multitude of ways, I understand this may trigger the crap out of you. I get it. I do. And I would love to hear your thoughts on what self care and self love mean to you….

Respond NOW and tell me – do you think it is selfish? 

PS. I’m now on Insight Timer offering FREE meditations. Stay tuned for more uploads and I’d love to hear what types of meditations you are seeking 🙂 I just may create a custom one for you. https://insighttimer.com/camykennedy


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